The idea of being needy often carries such a negative connotation that people do whatever it takes to avoid looking that way. Often times that may means personal isolation, while trying to “push through” whatever it takes to get it all done.
One of the first things we experience as newborns is the innate need for others. As babies we cannot accomplish our own tasks and we require others to complete them for us. The way we survive as babies is by needing other people and having them take care of us.
Over time our needs will (and should) change, but the main theme remains the same. We, as humans, need other people. As you begin to identify your real life, human support (read on how you can do that by reading the post below about replacing google with relationships) you will also be identifying people you can rely on when you are in need of physical support and that is very normal thing!
When we allow ourselves to embrace the idea of needing others, and recognize that it doesn’t make us weak a lot of other great things can begin to happen for everyone involved. The giver and the receiver benefit!
Being able to help others is something that people tend to enjoy. When others ask you for help think of how this makes you feel. It feels nice when we are able to offer a helping hand to someone else.
Now while I write this the irony strikes me! While it feels good to be needed, people don’t like to feel “needy.” However, if you aren’t honest with yourself that you need help we are not allowing others to feel the joy that comes from providing support we may need.
As I said our needs have changed as we have grown. So I am not asking you to find someone to rock you to sleep at night, spoon feed you or push you in a stroller (well that would be nice, but then you might actually seem needy). I am encouraging you to find “adult” ways in which you can get physical support with things you need.
- Unhappy with your job? Do you know someone who works somewhere where you think you could be a good fit? Ask them if they can help with getting you a job interview
Heading out of town? Let a neighbor know and ask if they can keep an eye on your house, let your dog out or even grab your mail!
Need to drop your car off to a mechanic? Ask a friend if they can help with getting you back and forth while your car is being worked on
If we are capable of identifying our needs, and identifying how people in our support can help with some of our needs we could be managing and reducing personal stress.
There is no reason to suffer alone when it is ok, and a human instinct to need others. So rather than trying to push through everything a lone, bring in some of your support and ask for help!