Needing Others Makes You Human

The idea of being needy often carries such a negative connotation that people do whatever it takes to avoid looking that way. Often times that may means personal isolation, while trying to “push through” whatever it takes to get it all done.

One of the first things we experience as newborns is the innate need for others. As babies we cannot accomplish our own tasks and we require others to complete them for us. The way we survive as babies is by needing other people and having them take care of us.

Over time our needs will (and should) change, but the main theme remains the same. We, as humans, need other people. As you begin to identify your real life, human support (read on how you can do that by reading the post below about replacing google with relationships)  you will also be identifying people you can rely on when you are in need of physical support and that is very normal thing!

When we allow ourselves to embrace the idea of needing others, and recognize that it doesn’t make us weak a lot of other great things can begin to happen for everyone involved. The giver and the receiver benefit!

Being able to help others is something that people tend to enjoy. When others ask you for help think of how this makes you feel. It feels nice when we are able to offer a helping hand to someone else.  

Now while I write this the irony strikes me! While it feels good to be needed, people don’t like to feel “needy.” However, if you aren’t honest with yourself that you need help we are not allowing others to feel the joy that comes from providing support we may need.

As I said our needs have changed as we have grown. So I am not asking you to find someone to rock you to sleep at night, spoon feed you or push you in a stroller (well that would be nice, but then you  might actually seem needy). I am encouraging you to find “adult” ways in which you can get physical support with things you need.

  • Unhappy with your job? Do you know someone who works somewhere where you think you could be a good fit? Ask them if they can help with getting you a job interview
  • Heading out of town? Let a neighbor know and ask if they can keep an eye on your house, let your dog out or even grab your mail!

  • Need to drop your car off to a mechanic? Ask a friend if they can help with getting you back and forth while your car is being worked on

If we are capable of identifying our needs, and identifying how people in our support can help with some of our needs we could be managing and reducing personal stress.

There is no reason to suffer alone when it is ok, and a human instinct to need others. So rather than trying to push through everything a lone, bring in some of your support and ask for help!

How About We Stop Hanging Out With Google So Much?!

We have access to an abundant amount of information which makes our lives simpler. Getting directions, finding a new recipe or seeing a restaurant review  can happen instantly with the support of our friend, Google.     

While instant information can be helpful, it can also make us feel like we need to change what we are doing on a daily basis.

To be completely honest, I don’t even change my sheets as often as the internet suggests I change my parenting style, my organization methods or the way I clean my bathroom.

Cue stress and overwhelming feelings, from all the “you’re doing it wrong” advice we are able to find.

It seems that our new buddy Google has become a replacement for the real deal… our actual friends!

We continuously critique ourselves when we type the latest question into the search bar. The internet is slowly invading our interpersonal relationships and it is in the absence of these relationships where anxiety and stress can become magnified.

Now, I realize this information is being read on the internet, and in the future I hope you find this site to be supportive for you in managing your life well. What I am suggesting is that we don’t allow the internet to become a substitute for human contact.

As humans, we have a need for contact, support and encouragement from others. Often times the internet allows us to try and fix our problems without having to speak them out loud to anyone. While in reality we continue to search the same problem over and over and find ourselves struggling with the same thing day in and day out.

We need to stop replacing our relationships with Google. Stop Googling, how to save your marriage, how to raise your strong-willed child and how to deal with a difficult boss. We need to start reaching out to our family, friends and co-workers for the real life support.

Are you up to the task? Then try these steps!

  1. Make a List of the things you are searching, articles you save and ideas that you pin for an entire week
  2. Review Your List and circle the topics that could fall in the “self help” category
  3. Find Your People look at the self help areas that you have searched the most and find the real deal human who can help you. Your mom, your friend, a co-worker
  4. Take Action call or text the person and set a time to talk! Coffee, lunch or even a phone date!

The four steps I am suggesting, and hoping you try,  are to encourage you to re-engage your interpersonal relationships, your support system. When speaking with other people we cannot close out an article like we can on our devices (are you even still reading this? If so, thank you, I am glad you are still here and cannot wait for you to try this out). When speaking with a live person we are invested in the conversation and it can be in these times that we challenge ourselves to improve and make necessary changes.

So go out there, start making your list and find the area in your life where you could use a friend, or a confident to help you better than Google can!

And remember this, true life changes happen in the context of relationships.